[How many times can we fall?]

[toremainbehind]

[It's been a week since they've managed to escape.

Neither of them knew who tipped someone off about their location, who helped them escape while everything became hacked and otherwise useless in keeping them contained. It had been their downfall to let Izumo stay in the frontline, his skills almost legendary now with how effective of an assassin he has become over time. Their downfall led to their deaths, and Izumo has ran away with Eric while the remnants of that group tried to go after them.

They didn't know where to go - who to turn to.

For them, this open world was a mystery, even if Izumo has more experience than Eric when it came to the outside world. There's no one they could trust, and little to no money to their name since their captors often took the money Izumo's earned for his kills. But Izumo is adaptable, taking odd jobs here and there in order to earn enough money to save up and find a place to stay.

It's only been a couple of days ago when Izumo first ran into the leader of HOMRA, the Red King and him having traded blows before it came to a tie. They went their separate ways shortly after when an informant came running towards them, Izumo having escaped before he could be questioned.

Now, he had taken Eric to a refuge in a motel. It's small and not one of the best, but it's the best Izumo could afford on such short notice when it became obvious to him when Eric has to rest again.

His right shoulder blade itched from the burns he received from Mikoto, but he ignores it in favor of in-between watching Eric sleep and looking out the window from his perch on the windowsill.]

Comments

[redstray]

[ He winces a bit hearing the noise of the corpse moving from the prod. ]

And why did you bring me here, exactly?

[toremainbehind]

You were trained to become a dog, forced to do grunt work, but it's always been more than that, hasn't it?

[Taking another drag, Izumo glances back at his brother.] But like how they've taught you all of that, they taught me something else.

If I become like this corpse, I become their puppet, and with that, I have no need for attachments - like you.

[redstray]

[ When he says the 'more' he avoids all eye contact with him, looking anywhere but Izumo and the corpse.

That hurt. Somehow being called an attachment hurt a lot. If he hadn't been around, Izumo could've run anytime he had wanted. But he became a killer. ]

You're not making any sense just get to the point...

[toremainbehind]

Let's say, hypothetically, I was haunted by the ghosts of our past much like you. While we were running, all I ever saw was their faces, heard only their voices, and the pain that they've inflicted on me.

They believed they could make the perfect killing machine by molding me into one and using you. I was tortured, trained, and I had to kill. I could still feel blood on my hands, even now, and heard the screams of my victims in my ears as they pleaded for their lives. I took people away from their families, had to witness children mourn the loss of a parent or simply someone close to them.

If I had given into the voices while we were running - and I'll be honest to you, Eric - I would have killed you.

[redstray]

[Hearing those words, hurt. His own brother would've killed him if he could, if he was just as weak as he was. Izumo was always the strong one, the better one.

He could hear their voices again, in his ear. The blood on the walls no longer dry but fresh, a knife in his hands and there was so much blood.

They were laughing.

You brother would hate you. He's tried so hard to keep you safe from the evils of this world when he doesn't even know how far you've fallen. Best keep it our secret, or he would never want to see you ever again. You don't want that, do you? ]

...probably should have...

[toremainbehind]

No.

[He walks over to Eric and places his hands on his shoulders, his grip tight and his expression stern.

What he faced when they were younger were never anything compared to what Eric's been put through. He's been told stories, heard the laughs when they thought he wasn't listening. He's seen the effects it had on his younger brother's body every time he manages to get to see him.

There were times when Izumo did wonder if he lost his own humanity if he gave into those voices, the mere thought of having Eric's blood on his hands enough to make his own blood grow cold.

He remembers the first time he's killed, how sick it made him.

He also remembers Totsuka's words when the informant saw Eric for the first time.

He's hurting, almost broken. I wonder if he'll ever be able to talk about what's happened.

Izumo clenches his jaw and then forces himself to relax as his expression softens.]

Eric, what else did they make you do other than grunt work?

[redstray]

[ The grip makes him flinch and hes half prepared for a knife to his gut, or another way of dying from his brother's own hand. But it never came. He let out a small whimper.

He'll hate you, despise you, abandon you if you tell. He doesn't want a murderer for a brother.

He shook his head again and again, trying to shake free from his brother's grip, avoiding any and all eye contact. ]

N-n-no...nothing...they...they didn't make me do anything...nothing.

[toremainbehind]

[The whimpering has Izumo frowning deeply, and when he tries to shake free from his grip, he doesn't let him.

Instead, he tugs him close into a hug, keeping him in it if he struggles.

At the lie, it just makes his suspicion grow, but he keeps quiet.]

Alright, don't tell me, but please don't ever be afraid of me.

[redstray]

[ He does struggle, crying a bit when Izumo doesn't let up.

He'll leave you if you tell.

He opens his mouth to speak, to say something, anything but nothing comes out. His breathing becomes more erratic, not remembering the last time he breathed in or out properly.

You brother will find out and hate you.

His vision was blurring. Izumo was saying something. Eric was a horrible brother, didn't deserve him.

Sorry Izumo, but Eric just passed out from a panic attack in you arms. ]

[toremainbehind]

[He holds Eric steady enough, his head lowered as he sighs softly.

Carrying Eric wasn't difficult, neither was the trek home.

It's earned him concerned looks and questions from Fujishima and Totsuka, though Izumo deflects them easily enough, knowing it wouldn't do any good to talk about it right now.

Eric's suffering and Izumo can't do anything about that.

So, he places Eric in his room, tucked into his bed. He gives his brother a look before he turns around and leaves, quietly shutting the door behind him.]

[redstray]

[ Times before the mafia, times during and after swirled into his head in and out of his dreams, he couldn't make heads or tails of any of it. But he slept all the same, all of today and the past weighing down on him heavily.

He opens his eyes slowly. It was late, very late, Eric knew somehow but he didn't make a sound, or any movement. All he did was look up and stare at the ceiling, a mask on his face as he woke up. ]

[toremainbehind]

[When Eric wakes up, Izumo isn't there.

During the time Eric's been asleep, Izumo has busied himself with running the bar and working as an informant in the side.

He's also had a wonderful talk with Totsuka, though he likes to think he didn't remember it. It's late when Izumo returns home, choosing to sit on the couch as he tilts his head up to look at the ceiling. Absentmindedly, he starts to hum, hoping it'll calm his nerves.]

[redstray]

[ Eric perks up slightly at the sound of the humming as faint as it was. The familiar ache and heaviness of weakness in his body makes him shut his eyes in annoyance. It didn't want him to get up, but he at least moved a bit to hear the humming a bit better, humming a little himself. ]

[toremainbehind]

[If Izumo hears the faintest sound of humming above, it doesn't make him stop.

Instead, he continues to hum, the lyrics eventually being sung softly.]

[redstray]

[ His body protests but he still leaves the bed. The song almost like a siren guiding him down, promising comfort.

He stops before he enters the room Izumo is in, peeking out and listening quietly, his eyes closed as he mouths the words. ]

[toremainbehind]

[His senses alerts him to a presence, but he recognizes it soon enough as it's Eric.

He keeps singing, knowing the lullaby will help his brother relax. It's their song, after all, and Izumo has sung it many times before for Eric whenever he's feeling stressed or afraid.]

[redstray]

[ Eric sings softly along, not as well and not every note, but a little. At the end he pops his head out and a bit more until he's halfway between the doorway and the room he was in. His hand gripping the wall, almost ready to bolt back into his room but too tired to do it very well. ]

...

[toremainbehind]

[He smiles slightly upon seeing the other. Noticing the hesitation, Izumo simply pays the space next to him.]

Wanna keep me company?

[redstray]

[ He doesn't move until the invitation. When he hears it it almost brings him to tears as he nods. He walks quickly to the couch and almost tackles himself into his brother, curling up on the couch. ]

I'm sorry...'m so sorry

[toremainbehind]

[Izumo shifts a bit so that Eric's against him more comfortably, placing a hand on top of Eric's head for comfort.

He shakes his head.] You don't have to apologize.

[redstray]

[ He clings to him, as if letting him go would mean he would slip away forever. He did have to apologize, over and over again because he kept doing this to his brother. Making him worried when Izumo had problems of his own to deal with.

It takes a long time before he calms himself down enough to speak. ]

Did they...really electrocute you?

[toremainbehind]

They did. [He glances down at his brother before shifting his gaze away in order to look at the wall in front of him.]

The days when I couldn't even go back to that place — I was recovering from being electrocuted. But they still made me work, anyway.

[redstray]

[ He winced as he heard it. He had been burned, beaten...tortured but he had never been electrocuted. He couldn't even imagine what that had been like. Knowing that was the reason sometimes his brother couldn't visit for long periods, made his stomach flip. ]

They worked you so hard...

[toremainbehind]

It was either work or never getting to see you again.

[He sounds a bit distant, recalling the memories.

The pain of being electrocuted with his nerves on fire, sparking a continuous pain that never seemed to cease.

His skin was burnt from the volts, the agony of it often keeping him awake even when he wanted to sleep. He could remember the scabs from his injuries always peeling open until they eventually became scars.]

[redstray]

[ He grips him even tighter, he knows that kind of voice and he doesn't want Izumo to feel that kind of pain again. ]

You don't have to do that anymore. We can always see each other now.