toremainbehind | [How many times can we fall?]

Entry tags:

assassin au

[How many times can we fall?]

[It's been a week since they've managed to escape.

Neither of them knew who tipped someone off about their location, who helped them escape while everything became hacked and otherwise useless in keeping them contained. It had been their downfall to let Izumo stay in the frontline, his skills almost legendary now with how effective of an assassin he has become over time. Their downfall led to their deaths, and Izumo has ran away with Eric while the remnants of that group tried to go after them.

They didn't know where to go - who to turn to.

For them, this open world was a mystery, even if Izumo has more experience than Eric when it came to the outside world. There's no one they could trust, and little to no money to their name since their captors often took the money Izumo's earned for his kills. But Izumo is adaptable, taking odd jobs here and there in order to earn enough money to save up and find a place to stay.

It's only been a couple of days ago when Izumo first ran into the leader of HOMRA, the Red King and him having traded blows before it came to a tie. They went their separate ways shortly after when an informant came running towards them, Izumo having escaped before he could be questioned.

Now, he had taken Eric to a refuge in a motel. It's small and not one of the best, but it's the best Izumo could afford on such short notice when it became obvious to him when Eric has to rest again.

His right shoulder blade itched from the burns he received from Mikoto, but he ignores it in favor of in-between watching Eric sleep and looking out the window from his perch on the windowsill.]

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[Totsuka places a hand on Izumo's elbow, a light touch to prevent him from jerking in surprise.

At Eric's words, Izumo does his best to calm down, but he's too wired. His senses are screaming at him to run, run, run, and to attack.

He does his best to fight it, his grip on Eric's hand tightening more to the point it could be hurting him. He doesn't like this.

Being blind, trapped in the dark -- it's bringing back memories, and it's making his breathing harsher as he tries to calm himself.]

[ As the hand tightens on him, Eric winces. It hurt, a lot, but Eric knew Izumo was getting in a spot. He made them stop in a quiet place, switching to English. ]

Izumo, you're not in the dark. I know it might be scary, but you'll be okay. Talk to me, what is it? I'm right here.

It's too dark. I can't—I can't go back.

[It's terrifying. Not once did Izumo ever think that being blind would terrify him, but it does.

It does and it's stabbing at him.

He knows he should talk, to let Eric help him, but he can't.

Too dark, too dark—]

You're not going back. You're going home okay? We're both going home together. Mothing bad is going to happen, you'll be okay Izumo.

[ He looks over at Totsuka for help in which he pitched in, trying to comfort Izumo. Eric was scared, Izumo was the strong one, not the kind that would do something like this. He didn't know what to do. His hand that was still in his hrip tried to rub circles in his brothers hand. He began to hum their song, hoping that it might help. ]

[Home.

That's right, they both have a home now.

It makes Izumo slowly calm down, but still not enough.

He grows quiet, giving a nod, and follows Totsuka as he's led to the car. Going outside of the hospital, Izumo's aware of how noisy it is with his heightened senses. It makes it more disorienting for him.]

[ The car was waiting for them and Eric helped his brother inside the back, being right beside him never letting his hand go. He leaned on him to give support, telling Izumo he was with him. ]

I'm scared of the dark too. But...whenever you came back, no matter how dark the room was, you made it lighter. You made that room a home. It's not the same...but, we're going back home, where there's light no matter what.

Not enough light. Never enough — it'll just burn.

[The cracks are getting deeper, his fears finally slipping through.

His instincts are still screaming again, and he could feel eyes on him. It makes it worse, his body shaking.

He could hear Totsuka say something to him before a hand is placed on his shoulder.

It's fine, calm down. You'll hurt yourself more like this. Deep breaths.

Izumo tries to follow his directions, but it's there.

The look that's screaming at him, one that means that someone is cautious, ready to fight him if he snaps. It's a look of distrust and it makes him bristle up.]

Izumo? Izumo it's okay.

[ Eric was starting to feel it. Izumo's animosity. Mikoto and Fujishima were watching them as well. Eric's hand was losing feeling from how hard the grip was becoming. He wasn't reaching his brother, not as much as he should be. ]

The light is always going to be here now, it's okay. It's never going to go away. Please, calm down, Izumo.

Not okay. It's not okay.

[It's getting worse, but Izumo focuses on Eric's voice.

Calm down.

Calm down.

There were too many people watching him, and it's making him want to lash out, but he struggles and tries to loosen his grip on Eric's hand.]

It is okay. We're together and we have people that care about us. We have a home with friends.

[ He wasn't sure what would work but when he felt the grip on his hand lessen, he shook it off if only to wrap his arms around Izumo, giving him a hug. He held him tight, trying to ground him some how. ]

You're doing good, Izumo. Just deep breaths, I'm here, okay? You'll be okay.

[Izumo bites his tongue, refusing to let the words slip from his mouth at what he wanted to say.

When Eric hugs him, he doesn't fight him, leaning against him. He closes his eyes—

Darkness, an all consuming darkness threatening to swallow him whole.

It's trying to devour him.

A hand touches his head, and he tenses. Then he hears Mikoto's voice, a low grumble that can barely be heard, and Izumo realized that Totsuka must've switched with him in order to contain him better.

He stiffens at the thought, his jaw clenching.]

[ He holds him for a moment before he feels something odd. Mikoto was there, trying to help too. That was good, he was Izumo's friend but...

His instincts make him stop the hug, he sees the closed eyes and the tenseness of his body. This was bad he had to calm down. He felt frustration build up inside him and his chest tightened. He didn't know what else to do.

Izumo helped him fight his own demons, he never had to fight off his brothers. He thought that Izumo was so strong and could fight them on his own. He was a bad younger brother, not helping when he needdd it more then he did. ]

Big brother? S-say something...

[ His head snapped when he heard his name said softly. Fujishima in the front seat called him. He saw how Eric was getting distressed by all this and suggested quietly to switch with Totsuka, letting Izumo's two friends help out a bit while Eric calmed down as well.

Eric shook his head, a couple of tears falling as he did. He wasn't going to leave his brother, not when he needed him tephe most. He promised. Even if he was a bad brother he promised to not leave his big brother.]

[Fight.

He hears their voices, urging him, taunting him.

Eric's voice was there, a faint him in the background. Izumo's trying to claw his way to him, trying to stay calm and lucid.

Izumo tries to blink, but all he could see is the darkness.

There were voices stuck in his head, all of them mingling together and becoming one.

Fight. Fight. Don't hesitate.

He hears Mikoto's voice, the sound of it breaking through the memories briefly, and then he feels the car pulling over and jerking to a stop.]

[ The abrupt stop jostled Eric but he stayed by his brother, trying whatever he could do but he was weak. He was a weak small dog that couldn't even help his own brother.

But he saw that look, one he had seen on the old Izumo, he was going into his mode. The scary one, one that meant pain for others. No, nooooo no nono he had to stop it he had to do something. ]

You're not suppose to give in. They're not around anymore don't listen to them! You're stronger than this, than them

[ Anything, he just had to reach him. But then he heard Mikoto say something as the door near him opened. Mikoto wanted Totsuka to be here instead, Fujishima and Totsuka trying to coax Eric away from his brother. He shook his head. ]

No I'm staying, don't let me out. Please I've got to stay by him!

[Eric is yelling.

Eric is in pain.

What are they doing to his brother?

Izumo hears voices again, Totsuka's this time, and it makes him riled up. Totsuka is upsetting Eric, but a part of him wonders why.

Why are they hurting his brother?

The darkness keeps him from seeing, so all he could do is listen now. He hears their voices, struggling not to lash out, but then he hears someone's words break through.

He's dangerous. Let Totsuka handle him.

Before he knew it, he feels someone — Mikoto — yanking him out of the car.]

IZUMO!!

[ Eric tries to grab him but he's pulled back by both Totsuka and Fujishima, the latter wrapping his arms around him to stop him from moving.

He struggled, trying to break free as he watched Mikoto go towards his brother. ]

STOP! Don't hurt him. Don't HURT HIM! PLEASE! I can do it, I can do it. He won't hurt me, I'll be okay so please. Just let, me, go!

[What's happening?

Eric is shouting now, his screams piercing through the air.

But Izumo's aware of Mikoto's presence now, a blur in his mind's eye. Unseeing eyes turn in Mikoto's direction and there it is again.

The voices are urging him on, and the blur that is Mikoto blends into the darkness.

He feels trapped, chained, and he finally lashes out at his friend.]

IZUMO STOP!!

[ They had to stop this fight. He had to stop it right now. The longer it goes on the worse it will be. Mikoto may be on par if not a bit better then his brother, but that meant nothing.

If Izumo stayed in this state for too long he might get stuck in it. He can't lose his brother, he just can't.

It doesn't take much to get out of Fujishima's grip and he runs towards the two fighting. He sees an opening and grabs hold of one of his brothers arm with two of his own. To either get Izumo to stop a hit or to help Mikoto to land a hit, he didn't know.

He didn't want to see his brother like this. He had to stop it, he can do it. ]

Izumo calm down! Mikoto is just trying to help, don't fight! It'll be okay, I promise.

[A snarl escapes from Izumo, tugging on his captured arm.

The darkness is casting illusions now, his mind playing tricks on him.

Yet, even in this state, he can't hurt Eric — he'd kill himself first if he ever harmed his brother.

But the urge is still strong, snarls and growls escaping from him. He can hear the others' voices, calling out in concern, but his mind is focused on the man in front of him.

He has to fight.

He has to.

Fight. Fight. Fight.

He hears their mocking laughter, whispers of them telling him that Mikoto will hurt Eric, too.

They can't be trusted.

The cracks continue to grow deeper.]

[ The snarl alone makes shivers run up Eric's spine. He's terrified, nothing he can do can reach him anymore. Yet he still wasn't harming him physically.

Mikoto approaches as Eric struggles to keep hold of one of his arms. If Mikoto came on this side, he could knock him out more easily.

Eric was in between his brother and Mikoto, one arm still firmly in grasp. The wager that Izumo wouldn't go through his own brother to get to the other was slim, but it was the only way.

Mikoto raise his arm, ready with a punch aimed for Izumo's head. ]

[Izumo can feel someone get close, and it's making his instincts flare up to protect Eric.

But his brother isn't letting him go. He's not letting him fight.

Before he can do anything else, he feels something hard connect with his head, successfully making him unconscious.]

[ Eric tries his best to hold Izumo when he goes limp, and Mikoto is not too far behind grabbing his other arm. He feels a hand on his head but it doesn't bring any comfort.

He failed. He failed in helping Izumo. He was in so much pain and all he could do was watch. He was a bad brother. Not even a brother, just a dog whose failed at helping someone he cared about.

Totsuka began to lead him back to the car,Fujishima and Mikoto carrying Izumo back as well.

They were heading to Izumo's home first. To grab some of his things and let him rest. Hoping he would be mildly stable when he woke up to continue back to the bar, back to their real home.

As they go in and set Izumo on his bed, Eric can't move. He can't go in there. He had no right being with his brother. Fujishima tried to coax him inside but all he could do was shake his head. He curled up on the floor beside the couch, his thoughts making him hide inside himself.

He was a bad brother, a useless one. Bad dog, bad dog. Had no right, no right to have a big brother. He couldn't help, he could never help him. He just used him to make himself feel better but couldn't even help bring Izumo back. Bad dog, worthless dog. ]

[The nightmares are back.

Endless memories, dreams of seeing his brother die.

He killed Eric.

They taunt him, sneering at him.

You failed. You failed to protect him. You killed him.

You killed Eric.

It's not long before he wakes up, a scream escaping from him and he feels someone holding him down. It's Mikoto, but Izumo can't focus.

Where's Eric? Where's Eric?

He's demanding his brother, hearing Totsuka run outside while Mikoto urges him to calm down before he hurts himself. But there's a buzzing in his ears, blocking him out.

He needs his brother.

Izumo needs to make sure Eric isn't dead.]

[ He hears Izumo screaming as Totsuka comes out of the room, telling him to come in the room. He was needed.

He gets up and goes into the room, hearing his name amd Izumo sounded absolutely terrified.

He goes to the bed and places a hand on his brother. ]

Izumo I'm here. It's okay. I'm right here. You're okay.

Eric?

[Mikoto is still holding onto him, but when Eric came close, he pulled back a little.

Izumo furrows his eyebrows, lifting a hand but hesitates when he realizes he's not sure if it's really Eric who's touching him.]

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redstray - 2016-01-06 04:57 (UTC) - Expand