toremainbehind | [How many times can we fall?]

Entry tags:

assassin au

[How many times can we fall?]

[It's been a week since they've managed to escape.

Neither of them knew who tipped someone off about their location, who helped them escape while everything became hacked and otherwise useless in keeping them contained. It had been their downfall to let Izumo stay in the frontline, his skills almost legendary now with how effective of an assassin he has become over time. Their downfall led to their deaths, and Izumo has ran away with Eric while the remnants of that group tried to go after them.

They didn't know where to go - who to turn to.

For them, this open world was a mystery, even if Izumo has more experience than Eric when it came to the outside world. There's no one they could trust, and little to no money to their name since their captors often took the money Izumo's earned for his kills. But Izumo is adaptable, taking odd jobs here and there in order to earn enough money to save up and find a place to stay.

It's only been a couple of days ago when Izumo first ran into the leader of HOMRA, the Red King and him having traded blows before it came to a tie. They went their separate ways shortly after when an informant came running towards them, Izumo having escaped before he could be questioned.

Now, he had taken Eric to a refuge in a motel. It's small and not one of the best, but it's the best Izumo could afford on such short notice when it became obvious to him when Eric has to rest again.

His right shoulder blade itched from the burns he received from Mikoto, but he ignores it in favor of in-between watching Eric sleep and looking out the window from his perch on the windowsill.]

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I knew I can count on you.

[Walking over, he hands Eric his drink before hitting Totsuka on the head.]

Let's eat lunch now that everything's no longer a mess.

Happy to help.

[ He takes the drink and gives it a few sips before heading over to the bar for food. ]

Always good to have the best food ever made

Totsuka, get off your ass and stop pouting.

[His words only has Totsuka whining at him, but Izumo simply shakes his head at him before walking over to the bar and places the food in front of Eric.]

How have you been, Eric?

Good, well...better, I think.

[ He thinks for a moment, trying to put it into words. He did feel better, less tense. But there was still work to be done. ]

Somethings...are still there but, I can see them a lot more often.

[ The habit weren't going to go away all at once but he was catching them now with some help from Fujishima. ]

How are you?

That's always a good thing.

[And it is. Izumo may be informed almost daily about Eric's condition, but it never hurts to hear it come directly from his brother himself.]

Are you working on them? [A genuine question, but one that has Izumo pause, his face scrunching up just the slightest.

That...might not be the best question to ask, but he can't take it back now.

At his question, Izumo blinks once before he smiles.]

...Better, I suppose you can say. I've had a few relapses; otherwise, I've been fine.

[ There was a long pause at the question, a small frown of guilt forming on his face ]

Not as much...as I should...

[ He'll see them, and Fujishima will try and point them out, but there was s till a thought of 'does it matter if I do it this way or not?' that is harder to break than the habits themselves.

He looks up again at his brother at the mention of relapses. He wondered what kind of things his brother went through. He struggled as well, but kept fighting. ]

I'm glad that, you're doing better.

[He places a hand on top of Eric's head.]

Remember, one step at a time. You're used to doing it unconsciously, so it'll be difficult to stop them all at a short time.

[Izumo can relate. It's why his relapses are occurring frequently, and why Totsuka's lingering longer than usual at the bar. Usually, by now, the younger man would have gone to go do his job since Mikoto's somewhere in the bar, too, but Izumo's relapses has been dangerous lately.

Even so, he smiles.]

Well, it helps when you have friends by your side. [He nods in greeting towards Fujishima when the other man enters.] Now, eat up.

[ He gives a small smile and a nod in return. ]

I know. Things will change, slowly...

[ He was noticing that Totsuka was staying at the bar a lot longer then normal, and it did have him curious. ]

It does, I'm glad Fujishima has been really supportive and patient with me. [ He nods back at his friend as he comes in. ] Are things...changing okay for you, Izumo?

We'll be there for you every step of the way.

[Totsuka smiles amiably, moving closer and sitting next to Eric while Fujishima sits on the other side.

However, as soon as Eric asks that question, Izumo tenses just the slightest, a brief shift in his demeanor before it changes.

Totsuka leans forward on the counter, the smile remaining on his face, even if it is slightly tense.]

..Slowly, but over time, it'll be better. It's just a bit difficult right now.

Thanks.

[ He sees that tense look, both in his brother and in Totsuka and it makes his stomach flip. Things weren't good, and he was worried. They still never wanted to tell him anything. ]

Is it something...that you can talk to me about?

Certain buttons are being pressed, so it's been leaving me on edge more often than it should.

[Totsuka gives Eric an apologetic look while Izumo looks somewhat distracted.

Either way, Izumo shakes his head.]

But it's getting better. Just don't be surprised if I shut down for a few seconds or so once in a while.

That's...not good.

[ His worry deepens as he sees his brother zone out and the warning if he will again ]

Should I stay over? Just in case...of anything?

[ Izumo never hurt him before and it s a tried and tested theory he won't ever. ]

[Izumo doesn't say anything at first as he takes out a cigarette, respectfully taking a step back from his brother as he takes out a lighter and lights it.

He doesn't answer right away, torn between wanting Eric with him and keeping him safe.

The possibility he could Eric is still a nightmare that haunts him.

It's Totsuka who eventually answers, telling Eric not to worry too much since he and Mikoto are always with Izumo and helping him through it.]

[ The step back hurts.

Him not answering hurts.

Totsuka saying not to worry instead of his brother hurts.

They won't tell him, and it worries and hurts him so much. He still wasn't worth the truth. ]

Okay...but...if there's anything that I can do...let me know.

[Izumo closes his eyes briefly before he takes a step forward again and places a hand on top of Eric's head.

He's sorry.]

You just being here helps, Eric.

[He's sorry - so sorry. He wants to tell Eric more about what's going on, but memories threaten to consume him, the darkness threatening to take over-

Izumo takes a deep inhale of his cigarette, looking distracted briefly before he smiles.]

How about we go out somewhere this weekend?

[ If he's sorry he wouldn't do this to him. The hand on his head didn't feel any better. He knew what it was meant for and it just made his stomach hurt even more. ]

Sure...

[ It wasn't, he knew that. The voice of not trusting his brother came back, the one that started with his burn scar, he thought he had gotten rid of it but Izumo wasn't helping it die.

He tilts his head at the mention of a trip. That was a first, for sure. ]

Where to?

[He pulls his hand back, seeing Mikoto lingering near the stairs.

He keeps the smile on his face, though.]

Totsuka tells me there's going to be a Hanami festival coming up. I was thinking we should gather everyone together and go gaze at the cherry blossoms.

[Totsuka immediately chimes in, suggesting they bring a picnic and even Anna along.]

Hana...mi?

[ The word felt strange on his tongue, he hadn't heard it in so long. When was the last time he saw them in bloom?

A vague image of his brother smiling along with their parents popped into his head and he smiled. To see the trees again like that would be a wonderful thing ]

That would be...nice...

[Totsuka and Fuji both cheers.

Izumo allows a chuckle to escape.]

Then it's settled. We'll start preparing everything then for the Hanami.

What should I help with?

[ He wants to feel a part of something, a part of the group, a part of his brother's life. Even if they did causally push him out of it. ]

You can help prepare the drinks.

[Taking out a notepad, Izumo scribbles something down.]

You and Fujishima can handle the drinks. Are there any you want in particular?

Milk tea

[ He thinks about it for another moment ]

And the kind that have the jello in them too.

Milk tea it is then.

[His eyebrows furrow a bit, looking briefly confused by what Eric's describing before it hits him.

He grins slightly.]

Alright, sounds good. Anything else?

[ Eric turns to Fujishima who smiles and says some regular green tea was fine as well, since he was sure that there would be alcohol coming along as well. ]

That's it.

Alright, then we got that handled.

[He scribbles something down more before Totsuka finally decides to chime in.

It's how they spend the day, pitching in ideas as to what to bring for the picnic before Mikoto decides to enter the fray, giving the usual complaint that they're being too loud.

Izumo eventually puts out his cigarette, looking somewhat distracted.]

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